Bringing God Glory!
The Pastor's Blog
The Great Landlord Posted 08.24.08
Three weeks ago we put our house on the market because of debt we incurred and the struggling finances at the church. All we heard was that the market was tough and it is a difficult time to sell. So how did my wife and I respond? We raised the price. Three weeks later our house sold and when escrow closes September 30th, we will be able to pay off the debt that had festered for over four years.
It is hard to sell your house but sometimes you have to sacrifice before you can truly appreciate the blessings God will bring in the future gain. In the meantime, we were providentially led to a spacious rental in the heart of downtown Corvallis. When we look out our front porch we will be in the very presence of the heartbeat of the city. I told my wife today, we should have moved here from the beginning, but the appeal for a nice house, at a much lower price, was too hard to pass up in the city of Albany.
Yet, today, we also recognize that God had a purpose for us living in that nice home in Albany. He wanted to free us from the debt that hung over us like a dark rainy cloud on a mid Autumn day. We don't know what the future will bring us, but one thing for certain is that we sense God is moving in our lives. He has positioned us in the best possible location where we can be witnesses to the mass volume of people who inhabit the downtown area. Now it is up to us to open our mouths and build into strangers we do not yet know. In the end, our hope is to see the blessings of our personal and emotional sacrifice.
Today, once again, we are tenants of a landlord and his conditions. He is entrusting us to take good care of his property and to prove that he made a good decision by renting to us. He expects us to maintain and make good use of his investment.
In the same way, we who are Christians, are stewards of the Great Landlord above, who owns everything, yet graciously entrusts His possessions to us. We are His stewards. May we prove faithful and always be good tenants for His Great Kingdom.
Evidences of God's Grace Posted 06.22.08
I recently attended a Pastors Conference at Mars Hill Church in Seattle where I had the pleasure of listening to an inspiring preacher named CJ Mahaney. The point he drove home was that pastors often spend so much time not being satisfied or focusing on the problems of the church—that we fail to see the evidences of God’s grace. Iwas completely convicted! It is so easy to focus on the numbers, the budget, the deficiencies, the character issues, the sins of people—and overlook the evidences of God’s grace.
As I reflected on Mahaney’s sermon, I decided to explore some evidences of God’s grace at Northside. Here is how God is working today at our church.
1. There is Maxine Sprick: God used a flier in the mail to bring her to our church. Not only did she become a member but a true servant. She has been the key decorator in all of our events. She has been a generous giver financially to those in need. Today she is putting a team together to sow quilts that will be taken to Dornbeckers, a hospital, where there are children dying of cancer. What an expression of the evidences of God’s grace.
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There is Diane Povis, who beat cancer once and now has to beat it again. Yet, she faithfully comes to church every Sunday even though she has every reason to rest. Her faithfulness is an example of the evidences of God’s grace.
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There is Danny Sheets, our gifted worship leader, who faithfully leads us to experience Jesus every Sunday morning, despite the minimal pay we give him. Driving from Salem, and Jefferson Oregon, Danny has not allowed four-dollar a gallon gas prices detour him—He has been a godsend to our church from the first day we sat down at a coffee shop and drank some mochas. Evidences of God’s grace.
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There is Denny and Peggy Giles, whose marriage is so strong after thirty years; they still act like teenagers going out for their fist date. I have watched them hold hands, respect deeply, and love each other with great admiration. They have allowed me to set a higher standard for my own marriage. More Evidences of God’s grace.
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There is Jackie Barksdale, who turned a discipleship assignment into a career. Three times a week, she now serves at a soup kitchen and loves on the people. Then when Sunday rolls around, she sets the tone as she welcomes everyone with a hug and an honest expression that is truly glad to see you. The best greeter in Corvallis, period! More Evidences of God’s grace.
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There is Jennifer Martin, who has taken the women’s ministry under her wing and turned into one of our strongest ministries. She also has the ability to spot a need or comfort someone that is hurting. And when we need a laugh she even shares stories about her husband that make us smile as he usually turns red. More Evidences of God’s grace.
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There is Bert and Suzie Cleary who have been married for over fifty years, and who have loved on Machele and I, treating us like we were practically their children. They have helped us financially, they have opened their home to us, and they have been faithful givers of their time and finances to the church. They have been a rock when we needed people to be strong. More Evidences of God’s grace.
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There’s Joe and Karen Rariden, who have volunteered their time to help others in need like our friend Suzie, who hadn’t slept in a bed for three years because of her back—until they gave her one that is designed like a hospital bed. They also ministered to our friend Bob who lost his wife—by calling members in the church to organize a love offering so he could pay his bills. More Evidences of God’s grace.
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There is Tami Johnson, who despite being a single mother with teenagers, always helps us when we have a need. She has been a designated driver, a VBS helper, and has been willing to almost anything within reason, even speak in public! It’s nice to know if I need a favor I can pretty much count on Tami to come through. More evidences of God’s grace.
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There’s Dave and Melanie Bennett, whom I have seen grow in Christ right before my eyes. Dave has been a friend who has helped me conduct business meetings and also was the force behind this website. Melanie has been the organizer queen who has taught me the importance of organization. Although they have moved to Portland, I look forward to their visits which rekindle my spirit. Again, more Evidences of God’s grace.
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Lastly, there’s my wife Machele, who exemplifies God’s grace by putting up with me, a very complex personality. I have a wife who I completely trust and who has a heart for Jesus and all people. She is truly the person I imagined during my years of being single when I asked the question, “What would a woman look like who is beautiful both inside and out?” God answered that question in Machele. If you know me—you would definitely conclude she is a BIG evidence of God’s grace.
There are so many more—but time and space does not permit. In reality there’s not one person in our church who does not exemplify evidences of God’s grace. I am fortunate and thankful that God used Northside to reveal to me more and more evidences of His grace.
If you would like to watch CJ Mahaney’s inspiring message on a vodcast, click on the following link. http://www.theresurgence.com/vodcast?page=2
The Poetry Book Posted 06.08.08
The other day I received a surprise package in the mail--it was my poetry book of yesteryear. Now this book had definitely made its rounds throughout the Tacoma and Seattle area where I spent my evenings hitting the club scene.
Who ever I dated--at one time or another had possession of this traveling companion. Inside was a compilation of many poems--most written before I became a Christian in 1993. The poems were about love--most of it gone wrong. There was the classic, Deserae's Hex from Hell that spoke of a man who could not get "Deserae'"off his mind--no matter what he did. He was a man trapped within his own obsession.
Then there was Exit 14--a metaphoric poem using two cars as a symbol of the lives of two people living in the the fast lane. One of these "cars" mistakes a "pit stop" by the other as a sign of romantic interest. But the other leaves him and returns to her former relationship--where she is trapped from moving forward. Both "cars" end up as causalities on the freeway called love.
Lastly there was my favorite--it is called The Drifter's Cafe'. It explains what takes in a night club as two people meet in hopes of a relationship.
The Drifter's Cafe'
Late at night across the pier on top of the ocean to the docks rear
Overlooking the glitter of isolation bay is the home of the heartless--the Drifter's Cafe'
It's where the glamorous meet and superficial dine as they search for riches and trophies so fine.
And inside there's a doorway which leads to a hall where the customers share stories--their tales so tall
Explaining to each other how their lives turned out right while ignoring the fact why they're present tonight.
Their secrets passed like a shooting star an attempt to explain just who they are.
But when the evening fades and it is time to go. You realize how much of that person you know.
There's a number and a name that yearns for change but the parking lot is so empty--the correlation so strange.
There's no lights no glitter just a dive on the bay. with a run down sign that reads "The Drifter's Cafe"
Such was my experience as I hit the clubs. Today as I read those poems of heartbreak and broken love, it makes me aware of who I used to be. I was always searching for that relationship. I was always hoping that one day I would meet the right one. I believed that true happiness lied within a future relationship and I as determined to find it. For five years of my life I was on this treadmill and I was going no where fast.
Then amazingly God opened my heart to contemplate Him--then to accept Him. What I discovered over the ensuing years was that the "one" relationship I needed was not a woman--the one I needed was God. Today I have had this divine relationship with Him for over fifteen years. Yet still, sometimes I truly can't comprehend how far I've I've come in life's journey. Fortunately....I realized this the other day as I ventured to my mailbox As I re-read those poems of heartbreak I grieved for that young man fifteen years ago. It made my heart heavy!
I wonder if there is someone out there that feels the same way I did many years ago. If you are one of those, I hope that my story allows you to understand that only one relationship will truly change your life. It is not with a man or a woman--but it is with Jesus, the lover of people like you. He definitely changes lives! My poetry book is my reminder and testimony of just how far this man has come. Thank you God for opening my eyes.
Heartbeat: Our Unexpected Loss Posted 04.22.08
My wife and I were going to have another baby. Our hope was for a baby girl--but the most important thing was that he or she would be healthy. Then things took a turn for the worse. My wife started bleeding and in a few days would have a miscarriage. We were both numb and in a state of disbelief. One day earlier my wife had an ultrasound and saw our baby's heartbeat. My mom would later say technology is both a blessing and a curse. In her day, there was no opportunity to see the baby's heartbeat so soon in a pregnancy. As a result, after her (my mom's) miscarriage she was not as emotionally connected.
Not knowing what to do I just decided I was going to serve my wife. There definitely was hurt involved with me; but not to the extent that I hurt for my wife. You never realize how much you love someone until you hurt for them. I think this is why Jesus loved us so much. He hurt for us because he knew we couldn't make it into heaven by ourselves. You hurt for people you love and I was hurting for my precious wife.
We are talking about naming our child. How could you not when you saw the heartbeat. For all those who argue that a baby isn't a baby at such an early stage, I just have one thing to say.....there was a heartbeat. There was a life and my wife saw it and it made her happy.
So what would we name our unborn child. We are still talking about it but I suggested we call him or her, "heartbeat." So as we continue to heal please remember us in your prayers. But don't feel sad for us. Be grateful to God that he granted us an opportunity to see life. Although the life was short-lived....we know that one day we will be with him or her forever in heaven. In the end, we move forward and thank God for the opportunity to experience the herartbeat.
Between Slim Fast and the Baked Potato: Posted 03.30.08
One of the hardest things when it comes to the Passion Week of Christ is to focus. It is so easy for the week to fly by and the next thing you know it's Easter Sunday. With work, family, bills, and various social pressures--it is not uncommon for us to lose focus. Knowing this, I tried something different this Passion Week. I denied my stomach. If there was one way I would be able to remind myself of Jesus--it would be without one of my favorite pleasures, food.
So for one week, I was able by God's grace not to eat anything. Each night my wife and I took a section from the gospels and followed the footsteps of Jesus until he was buried in Joseph's tomb. To make things even more interesting I told my wife I would cook dinner for her the nights I was home. Now I didn't just make spinach, carrots, and beets, I went all out. Monday I made chicken and scallop potatoes. Tuesday we bought some Papa Murphy's pizzas and brought them to the youth group where I prepared and sliced that pie which was calling my name. It was hard, pizza is my favorite food......but I made it.
Wednesday I visited a Christian housing facility nearby Oregon State University. Guess what they ate: Turkey and mashed potatoes. I had to leave the building and go to Starbucks because I love turkey. Did I mention I love turkey? I love turkey! Yet, I sacrificed. On Thursday, I made my wife Teriyaki chicken with pineapple chunks. The aroma permeated the house and I helplessly watched my wife and son take their forks, smile and consume their food. There was nothing I could do except pray for their meal and welcome to my taste buds, Slim Fast.
On Friday, I made spaghetti. You never really notice how strong garlic is until you go on a fast. Every step I took in my house I smelled garlic. In fact, since there were leftovers I smelled that garlic for three days. I told my wife that I could smell garlic on her and Korban. I was getting delirious. On Saturday, my buddy Dave came from Portland and I told him I could only do coffee. He was a little surprised when I ordered the largest sized Carmel Frappuccino in the joint. He politely smiled and said, "that's big." I contemplated telling him....but I couldn't do it. Instead I left him with the perception that I was a glutton.
During dinnertime that Saturday, I made taco salad for my family and served it with cheddar cheese, Doritos, Romaine lettuce, and Catalina dressing. Although my mouth watered, I was able to remain faithful to my glass of Grape Juice. Finally, Sunday came and we celebrated the resurrection of Christ. To prepare myself to preach I went to Starbucks, reviewed my sermon, and powered up on another Carmel Frappuccino. Filled with caffeine, I couldn't wait to preach for Jesus....but still in the back of my mind I saw Sizzler. I just had to get through the entire service. I saw light at the end of the tunnel.
As I look back, although you could say I was tempted and suffered, I did not really feel like it because I was focused on someone who really suffered for me. Someone who wept during his Triumphal entry because he knew those people would turn on him. Someone who cried out in agony "Why have you forsaken Me" as he hung there nailed on the cross. And someone who after three days was raised from the dead. Why did he suffer? The answer is quite simple: He died so that when God called me to Himself, I could go to heaven. I thought about this as I ate my steak and baked potato at the restaurant that Easter afternoon.
In the end the whole experience has made me realize that I should suffer more....especially if it helps me focus on Jesus.
To post a comment: Email Pastor Kene at kpanas@mynorthsidechurch.com
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